I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
