Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
