Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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