I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
