And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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