I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
