dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
