Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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