just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We need to get me chipped asap
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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