can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
