I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
