if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
