The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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