Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
