hell yes lets make some ravioli
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
