I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't put those talents on a resume
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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