Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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