She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I supernannyed him into submission
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
