I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
