No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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