Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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