The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize