I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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