if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
