it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
