I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
