All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
