Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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