The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
