She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
