I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
