pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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