nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize