Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize