I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
