I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize