Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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