I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
