is your mom at the bar?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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