Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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