i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
