my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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