Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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