alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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