Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize