Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
