they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
