He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
