sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
