he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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