He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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