Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
