that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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