Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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