Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize