i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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