We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
