just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
