is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
