dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
