i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
someone owes me an orgasm
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
