we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
