Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
