So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
