butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
