If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
